Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
i can poo in the potty...
Let me be honest, it was my idea to start potty training for senior – that’s Yudhi our 4-year-old for you. The wife said, to give her credit, said again and again that there was no need to rush him in and he would learn when the time was right. But being a father and being from India, where potty training used to start even before little children learn to walk, I always had a quirk inside me that he must start, and that he must start now.
How can you teach something to a newbie? Well, you can teach them traditionally, where you speak to them, tell them, and they understand and follow you. So I did that. The wife bought a “potty” book that explained the “business” in children’s terms and contexts. The wife bought a colourful plastic potty which “magically” played music when potty or “peepee” dropped inside. The wife also bought a “baby” toilet seat which could be fitted on top of an adult toilet seat to accommodate the tiny backside of senior (and hopefully junior when the time comes).
I tried the teaching method and nothing worked. Yudhi could recite the rhyming words from the potty book without rhyming the meaning behind. He would become stressed and I would leave him and his pottying in diaper habits alone for a while.
Then I tried the “see and copy” methodology. Not that he had not see the wife or me on the potty before, but I made it an emphasis now to let it be known that each sitting was the best time of my day. I could read, I could finish sudoku puzzles, I could draw, I could write poetry and such. So much was the extent of my role play that I started enjoying my potty time even more than I was hoping my son would. But all this role play also never had any impact…on the other hand, one day, Yudhi told me in no uncertain terms that he would only potty on the potty when he was 16-years-old. I realized that I had been stressing the poor boy too much and decided to leave him alone till he was ready to do his business the way we wanted him to.
Yudhi in the "hot" seat
Two weeks later, one night just before bed time, he jumped up…”I want nappy, nappy…quick, poo-poo is coming,” I asked him, “You want to try the big potty?” Whatever the thought in his head, whatever the reason that made him say yes, I wouldn’t know (but hope that all my role-playing or teaching may have made some impact after all) but just that one yes from his side was all he needed to be potty trained.
Luckily all the props were already there. He lowered his pajamas, and underwear, placed his Winnie-the-pooh! toilet seat on top of the normal seat, and plonked himself on it. He looked at me with a half-unsure plead to leave him alone. And as I left the bathroom, I heard sounds of success plopping down in the waters and my mouth lifted upwards in a smile and my chest swelled with an unknown pride when I dashed to the bedroom to inform the wife.
How can you teach something to a newbie? Well, you can teach them traditionally, where you speak to them, tell them, and they understand and follow you. So I did that. The wife bought a “potty” book that explained the “business” in children’s terms and contexts. The wife bought a colourful plastic potty which “magically” played music when potty or “peepee” dropped inside. The wife also bought a “baby” toilet seat which could be fitted on top of an adult toilet seat to accommodate the tiny backside of senior (and hopefully junior when the time comes).
I tried the teaching method and nothing worked. Yudhi could recite the rhyming words from the potty book without rhyming the meaning behind. He would become stressed and I would leave him and his pottying in diaper habits alone for a while.
Then I tried the “see and copy” methodology. Not that he had not see the wife or me on the potty before, but I made it an emphasis now to let it be known that each sitting was the best time of my day. I could read, I could finish sudoku puzzles, I could draw, I could write poetry and such. So much was the extent of my role play that I started enjoying my potty time even more than I was hoping my son would. But all this role play also never had any impact…on the other hand, one day, Yudhi told me in no uncertain terms that he would only potty on the potty when he was 16-years-old. I realized that I had been stressing the poor boy too much and decided to leave him alone till he was ready to do his business the way we wanted him to.
Yudhi in the "hot" seat
Two weeks later, one night just before bed time, he jumped up…”I want nappy, nappy…quick, poo-poo is coming,” I asked him, “You want to try the big potty?” Whatever the thought in his head, whatever the reason that made him say yes, I wouldn’t know (but hope that all my role-playing or teaching may have made some impact after all) but just that one yes from his side was all he needed to be potty trained.
Luckily all the props were already there. He lowered his pajamas, and underwear, placed his Winnie-the-pooh! toilet seat on top of the normal seat, and plonked himself on it. He looked at me with a half-unsure plead to leave him alone. And as I left the bathroom, I heard sounds of success plopping down in the waters and my mouth lifted upwards in a smile and my chest swelled with an unknown pride when I dashed to the bedroom to inform the wife.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
happy birthday, siddhu!
birthday boy!
Today Siddhu turned two. Oh what a whirlwind two years were these! I remember when Shizu was still pregnant and we came back from India…and the first bed that Siddhu slept in Vas’ flat in Yishun Street 81…anyway, today he was far apart from the fat-covered, bluish tiny baby we first saw on 20 January 2006. and aren’t we glad?
He was dressed in the same Fabindia kurta-chudidaar Shizu bought for Yudhi a few years ago. And Siddhu looked like an angel. As usual we went to the Singapore zoo. Thanks to Anil, we had reservations to use the KFC birthday area. The small group of friends included Miho, Reiko & Ma-chan, Joanne, Jyoti & Advik, Anil & Hoon, Yudhi & Siddhu, Shizu & me and Anusha.
make a wish, boy!
Shizu was busy in the kitchen since early morning and the end result was a fabulous luncheon spread. The cake was adorned with a Barney photo Siddhu’s favourite (even though he didn’t even had a single bite of it) and we all had a generally good time till it started drizzling and we all somehow managed to return safe and dry.
Friday, January 20, 2006
siddharth jun sharma
siddharth, our second son, was born in january - on 20 january 2006 to be specific - at the same hospital as yudhi - mount elizabeth in singapore. he was born slightly premature - two weeks if i can recall correctly and both she and i were a bit worried - different fears in her heart and different ones in my head - when we saw his body covered in white grease-like substance. however, the doctor - suresh nair - the gentle, mild-mannered and soft-spoken suresh nair - reassured us that it was nothing to worry about. siddhu - we had already christened him. in fact we had chosen the names for two children even before they were born. if boy yudhishthir in hindi and yohei in japanese (although with some hesitation from my wife), if girl, rajshree in hindi and ogi in japanese. in the first instance it was a boy so we simply called him yudhishthir kei (you are right, her hesitation was intact!). second time we were sure it would be a girl till the day of the sex scan where we told dr ananda at campden medical centre that we didnt want to know the gender of the baby...but talkative as he is, he started ruffling his flowing hair with one had and chanting like a mantra "oh boy, oh boy, oh boy..." till my worried wife asked him, "is everything alright doctor?" he merely turned his bushy eyebrows heavenwards and smiled - "yes, dear". and added as an afterthought, "oh boy!" so we couldn't use the girl's name and ended up with the second name that we had thought of as a stand by - siddharth jun.
so even though siddhu was slightly premature, we were delighted to count all ten fingers and all ten toes (it's what my wife asked me to do when yudhi was born and i followed up on my own during siddhu's time).
dr suresh nair holding a cleaned-up and wrapped-up siddhu
although we had been preparing yudhi for a baby brother's arrival by talking to him and inviting him to have a feel of mama's tummy and by showing him every little pair of brothers or brother and sister around...the first look on his face when he saw his mama - so far only his mama - holding a strange looking little creature, who had somehow appeared suddenly from out of nowhere. he looked a little awkward, slightly unsure of the situation. but HE HAD bought presents for mama and his younger brother. moreover, he relaxed - ever so slightly - when he relaised that this new strange creature who was suckling on mama's bosom, had remembered him and had brought a nice gift for him too - a brand new, big box of bob the builder lego...the little gift from the new born, my wife and i believe, was a great bridge between any awkward emotions between yudhi and siddhu.
all was well, third morning, we got him circumcised and brought him home to yishun street 81 - where we were living in vas' flat at that time.
this is what yudhi looked like when siddhu was born
so even though siddhu was slightly premature, we were delighted to count all ten fingers and all ten toes (it's what my wife asked me to do when yudhi was born and i followed up on my own during siddhu's time).
dr suresh nair holding a cleaned-up and wrapped-up siddhu
although we had been preparing yudhi for a baby brother's arrival by talking to him and inviting him to have a feel of mama's tummy and by showing him every little pair of brothers or brother and sister around...the first look on his face when he saw his mama - so far only his mama - holding a strange looking little creature, who had somehow appeared suddenly from out of nowhere. he looked a little awkward, slightly unsure of the situation. but HE HAD bought presents for mama and his younger brother. moreover, he relaxed - ever so slightly - when he relaised that this new strange creature who was suckling on mama's bosom, had remembered him and had brought a nice gift for him too - a brand new, big box of bob the builder lego...the little gift from the new born, my wife and i believe, was a great bridge between any awkward emotions between yudhi and siddhu.
all was well, third morning, we got him circumcised and brought him home to yishun street 81 - where we were living in vas' flat at that time.
this is what yudhi looked like when siddhu was born
Monday, September 15, 2003
at bright hill cresent
more space to play for the little growing boy at the 23 bright hill crescent house, next door to bernard harrison's. of course we share the house with julian davison, writer of many arhitectural books and host of a series of tv shows on singapore architecture. seen here with a gift from papa's friends and colleagues from sentosa - michelle tang and harneis hadir.
sleeping peacefully in this useful (but psychologically scarry contraption) electric swing gifted by wayne lim - another colleagie and friend from sentosa.
looking nice and cosy is this green jumper, a hand-me-down from helen who also lived downstairs at bright hill with hubby sam and son maxi and daughter keira. later helen, maxi and keira moved back to her mum place in new zealand.
Tuesday, July 1, 2003
yudhi - not yet 3 months
just like a chubby cat, yudhi grins a toothless grin in the munshi abdullah house we stayed in for a short period.
here, he's getting ready to sleep...or just woke up from a nap...can't really remember correctly actually...
Thursday, May 22, 2003
yudhishthir kei sharma
well, yudhi was born on 22 may 2003. it was a very special day for both shizu and me. writing about it today, after so many years, i am sure i may not be able to relate my actual experience that time but suffice it to say that it was something close to something life changing. to see how nature carves out another beautiful form from a form...to witness how a mother separates a part of her flesh and blood. what a woman might feel, i don't even want to try and feel. it's not in us, men, to know what they, women, go through. they need to go through all that because they are built to, they are structured that way. and perhaps they don't even expect us to know. but if at all we can try to understand that it is an uphill task, that not all of them know what to expect, not all of them are prepared, not all have had any training to deal with...it would be easier for both partners to cope with the life after The Birth.
six-day-old yudhi gets a peck outside indian high commssion in singapore on grange road
for us too, it was like that. we saw each other and learnt. i made mistakes...in hindsight, i was a bit stupid to have behaved the way did sometimes but then even if i have realised it later - today - i don't feel guilty. i am happy that she stood by me and helped me learn the ropes, climb the ladder.
thank you darling!
six-day-old yudhi gets a peck outside indian high commssion in singapore on grange road
for us too, it was like that. we saw each other and learnt. i made mistakes...in hindsight, i was a bit stupid to have behaved the way did sometimes but then even if i have realised it later - today - i don't feel guilty. i am happy that she stood by me and helped me learn the ropes, climb the ladder.
thank you darling!
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